Vocabulary

"Is 'regulation' a word?"

Salesman

"Are you happy with your phone company? Would you like to change?"

Oh, I didn't know my student was practicing his telemarketing skills at school.

Inappropriate

My students were working on a review and randomly a male student asked me "What are you going to name your kids?" I told him that I don't know. It was followed by a brief conversation at his group about if that question was appropriate or not. They concluded that asking if I'm going to have children or asking if I'm pregnant would both be inappropriate. I think the original question was in appropriate as well.

In the same class on the same day the same boy asked me "What are you doing this weekend? If you don't mind me asking."

I told him "I do mind."

He continued with "I'm not trying to ask you out or anything. 'Cause I was thinking the whole class could hang out and like go to home depot, buy some lead paint, and sit on the curb."

WHAT?

Tests

A student asked this about a 16 question test:

"How many of these can we get wrong?"

Me: "16."

What he was really asking was how many he could miss and still pass.

Think Before You Speak

"Frau, do you know how to massage necks?"

"No, but I know how to teach German."

I just keep wondering what would have happened if I'd said "yes." Ew. Like seriously. What the heck?

"What's a walkman?"

Really?

Here are some quotes from a while back:

"Marco Polo's a real person?"

"Is Marco Polo dead?"

"What's a scanner?"

More Creepy

Maybe I get creeped out too easily. But, there was one week when two different boys in two different classes complemented my eyebrows. Really? Eyebrows? They said things like "I like your eyebrows. They have a really nice arch." I was disturbed both times.

Texting

"Texting's only been around for like 15 years? You poor people!"

Pagers

"Frau, what are pagers?"

This really happened in class this last week.

Espanol

Two female students speaking Spanish after class.

One boy as he packs up : "Stop speaking Spanish; this is German class!"

Me "They can speak whatever language they want. Leave them alone."

Then the two girls thanked me.

Tattoo

me "'Johnny', what's that your drawing?"

'Johnny' "It's for my sister. She's getting a tattoo."

me "Oh. How old is she?"

'Johnny' "She's 18."

me "Oh OK. What's her name?"

'Johnny' "Her name's Shaniqua."

me "Cool."

Female student (who's like 16)"My Dad told me I could get a tattoo but I didn't want one."

me "That's probably a good idea since your ability to make life-altering decisions isn't great at 16."

Female student "Yeah. And I'm going to college for dance and we're not allowed to have them."

I have lots of students with tattoos.

Old, but still creepy, and not wisdom

Student: Frau, what would you do if I showed up at your front door?

Me: Call the cops.

Student: Seriously? What if I needed help with my German homework?

Me: I'd still call the cops.